There can be a multitude of traumas that result from an abusive relationship. Betrayal, verbal abuse, physical abuse, threats, control, manipulation, isolation, intimidation, forced sex, financial restrictions, berating, criticism, and constant competition are just a few.

IF YOU ARE BEING ABUSED AND ARE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE OR SELF HARM PLEASE DIAL 911 FOR HELP.

Using this process to release an abusive relationship can free you from being haunted by your past.

IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP AND GET OUT — ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED. RESEARCH THE SERVICES AVAILABLE IN YOUR COMMUNITY AND CONTACT THE ORGANIZATIONS WHO CAN HELP YOU GET OUT. THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE YOUR OWN SAFETY AND WELL-BEING AND THE SAFETY AND WELL BEING OF ANY CHILDREN INVOLVED IS TO GET OUT OF THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AS SOON AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

If you question what an abusive relationship is, please research this topic on the web. There are many excellent sites that help you identify and define an abusive relationship ( The National Domestic Violence Hotline, for example).

IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE AND YOUR ABUSER IS A PARENT, SIBLING, ROMANTIC PARTNER, TEACHER, OR CLASSMATE, PLEASE SEEK HELP YOUR SCHOOL COUNSELOR OR NURSE. EVEN IF YOU CAN’T LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY, A COUNSELOR CAN HELP YOU UNTIL YOU ARE ABLE TO GET OUT.

To release an abusive relationship using this process, you should begin by focusing on the moment you agreed to be engaged in a relationship with the person. Focus on the sights, sounds, smells, and senses of when the abuse began.

The sound of their angry or demeaning voice will help bring up traumatic memories, as will any physical sensations of being threatened or hit.

If it’s relationship of a short duration (five years or less), you may be able to release the trauma all at once. In step two you would say, “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related to being in an abusive relationship with (your abuser’s name) and all the forms of abuse I experienced with them and all the damage that relationship has done to me.” Record your response in your journal.

If it’s a long-term relationship, you will need to release parts of it every three days and use the same words, but adding “during the first five years,” “during the second five years,” “during the third five years,” and so on.

For example: “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related to being in an abusive relationship with (your abuser’s name) and all the forms of abuse I experienced with them and all the damage that relationship has done to me during the first five years of the relationship.” Record your response in your journal.

Sometimes the greatest damage done to a person in an abusive relationship is how the they end up feeling about themselves after it’s over.

Once you’ve released the duration of the relationship you can go back and release specific feelings and beliefs you have about yourself as a result of the abuse.

Here are some of the most common:

• embarrassment/humiliation
• stupidity/naïveté
• guilt (“it’s my own fault”)
• feeling wounded (“I’ll never recover”)
• feeling broken (“I’ll never be the same”)
• inability to trust/suspicion
• fear (“they’ll come back/find me”)
• fear of new relationships (“I’ll just attract another abuser”)
• isolation/loneliness/shyness
• “no one respects me now”

If you are experiencing any of these emotions or beliefs, you can perform a release that is specific to that feeling or belief (or a group of them). As an example: you would say in step number two, “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related to my belief I was stupid to stay in that relationship and now I’ll never recover because I’m isolated and afraid I’ll just attract another abuser.” Record your response in your journal.

For some, there are children involved and there can be great guilt that the abusive relationship you were in harmed and damaged your children. If that’s the case for you, the release you would perform is, “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related to any damage I did to my children due to being in an abusive relationship, and any guilt I have for exposing them to abuse.” Record your response in your journal.

If children are five years of age or older, they can also use this process to get the traumatic memories of the abusive relationship out of their minds and lives.