Generally, people do not consider shyness a trauma or even a severe difficulty to overcome — unless they are the shy one. Then they know how excruciatingly painful this condition can be.
Some people are simply born shy, and it’s an inherent part of their personality. Others become shy due to abuse, humiliation, trauma at school, bullying, or simply growing up different from other children.
Some people become shy in adulthood, usually due to a perceived deficiency on their part (for example, “I’m not beautiful/thin/rich/smart/big/tall/cool enough”). Work-related trauma or trauma experienced in relationships can also make an adult shy.
No matter how or when a person becomes shy, this process can help in overcoming this crippling condition.
- First, you must determine when and why you became shy. If you were born shy, look at the other people in your family. Is it an inherited trait? Did you grow up in a family of quiet, shy people? Or maybe the opposite was true, and you grew up in a loud boisterous family where you could rarely get a word in edgewise. Rate your emotional response to being shy in your journal.
- Next, select a group of years from birth to five years old. Then, make the statement, “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related to being shy from birth and all the trauma from my shyness from birth to five years old.” Record your response in your journal.
- Your next release should take place three days later. Your statement will be similar, except you would say, “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related being shy in school, and all trauma events from being shy from five years old to ten years old.” Record your response in your journal.
- Three days later, your next step would be the same — except this time, your statement would be for 10 years old to 20 years old (so you can release all the teenage years at once). Being a shy teenager makes a potentially difficult time exponentially more traumatic. Record your response in your journal.
- Three days later, the next release should be from 20 years old to your current age. Record your response in your journal.
- Let a week pass. If, at that time, there are still emotional reactions, repeat the process until you feel completely neutral about being shy. Your behavior will start to change during this process, and you will find yourself more comfortable engaging with people.
- If your shyness resulted from events in later years you should release these events. Let’s say your shyness began in middle school when your face broke out in acne and other kids bullied you because of that. You would begin by saying in number two, “I release the energetic connection to and the feelings of trauma related to my acne and my humiliation about how I looked and the kids bullying me.” You would focus on the sights, sounds, and events of being bullied and becoming shy. Record your response in your journal.
- If your shyness is due to abuse from your parents or a partner, you will need to release your shyness following the steps outlined in Abusive Relationships.